You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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