she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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