it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
