1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Farmville is her only friend.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
