Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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