I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
