I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
