I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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