Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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