Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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