Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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