Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
