I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
