quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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