dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
