The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
