Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
