is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
