Can i not drive my cunt home
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
