A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
