i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have demons in me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
