Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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