Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
