So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
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do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
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Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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