barbara walters just said penis...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
