I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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