she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
