i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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