you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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