are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
