Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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