didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
