their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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