i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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