I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
