After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
