We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
