So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am midnight drunk by noon
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
