It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
