Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
