I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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