no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
