That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
