Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
