I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize