Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
