I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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