PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
