I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
jump out the window naked night went bad
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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