i think i have herpe
just one?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
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All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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