worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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