I wanna passion pit in your ass
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
