If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
