Someone shit on the floor
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
