I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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